(NOTE: a slightly morbid convo withe Devil I had written yeeeeeeeeeeers ago; this lengthy, unwieldy, grisly story is appropos when you realize I went Upstairs after our accident: I was sitting on a cloud, waiting for my precious, adorable Janet to get her hair done, which you very well know how long THAT takes, waiting for the 'wonderfull symphony' HeeHee where we might make love for ten weeks, showing you the length of my strength, while I can delve into the depths of the never/ending. Ah! To be as One... Progress at thy own volition mind you!! I realize people plagiarize 24/7 in this age of the clandestine PC. That's fine. Copy away. Nthn I can do. But, yet, we all perish! Yippee!! Be forewarned, then, in Heaven our kick-ass-blogs will be in bookform [already a bestseller in the Great Beyond] where I'll sign copies for prevailing in this deviant age for those who wannum. Why wouldn't God do that for me?? Dream big, child. Heaven awaits, only this wee, Finite Existence to wish for the stars) --- I remember the cloudz were reeeeeeeelly comfy, almost like a lazYboy but totally plushNexploited, enjoying the Meadowlark sunset, wished I had my Jaybird to hold, everything was just guhroovyishusness when I noticed this terrible stench from down yonder, o'thar to the left somewhere. Then, I knew. Wonder how the bloody Liar could smell all-the-way on the lowest level of Heaven?? P.U. SatanShithead pulled-down his pants and let-out one of the extreme farts in the hemisphere: he - bleweth - me - away ('course, I smelled nuthn - only the sinewy, bellicose aftermath was I privy to). And I thot I was the champion. "Think about it, BottoM, otto with a BM," showing me more of his scaly brass. "Oh, gee, that's pleasant. You're disgusting. Know why you're there?" "Duh. What I wanna know is why ain't yoo here," as he laughed hideously and stepped on a 'damn varmit'. "Huh? C'mon! Don't you wanna smoke some Mary Wanna with Bob Villa?" "2-4-1, baby. Gott'm all here at our MojoDojo," pointing to the Great Beyond. I kicked sand in his face as he stepped on another kritter - she yelped and died; he checked his Dimex, seductively self-confident, for you very well know you can stop dead on a dime. "Heaven's out there somewhere, isn't it, anywhere but inside you," pointing to our chest. "Too ethereal, too far-and-away to be any use to U.S. till we're on our deathbed. So why bother? Just go to choich on Sunday, check your Dimex, make damm sure the preacher can see you, cough once or twice to let him know they're wasting your time, shut-the-hell-up otherwise, be a goood CafeteriaChristian, and live as YOU wanna... because it's really MY life... I'll repent when I'm on my deathbed..." Without a pause, "Confucious say: you wiseass. Would you like a lil' Sake withat?" "O yeah? How do we mortals know we'll git TO our deathbed?? ahead-of-schedule. "Could croak in an Ottorekk HintHint but the Almighty had my work all-cut-out like those Japanese Haiku proving, once again, better to be humble and meeek like a mouse. And, hey, aren't you forsaken?" I'm so funny, I patted myself on the back. That shut-him-up for a time... but only for a time. I crossed my legs and settled in. Gonna be here awhile. So... I tightened my black-belt-in-faith and sed to this uncultured, rogue element. "You lissen here, ya ugly-eye-booger," as I straightened myself up, prepared for the jousting. "I overheard Jesus ask the other day, 'Why all the petulant animosity? Why can't you conform the Liar by loving thy neighbor the Last Days before the fall of humanity?? And bring his teeny-tiny-weiner-roast to an end before his time??' Janet lived in an A-frame-house. Should've been an A+" He just yawned, staring, as he played a vicious battle of ThumWarz withisself. I, however, decided to forego that unjust conclusion and proceed withe knowledge which was verily timeless. "Just as the night honors the daytime, so it is with love: we come outta the Dark of Night into the Light of Love. Isn't that beautifull?" forgetting for a second who I was talking to. "You're repulsive." he was snacking on a rotting cranium which was still alive, but couldn't do a thing. "And you're fruitlessly incongruous," he brushed it aside with a wave of his claw. "Pro'bly got that outta someplace in a book. God's x-tra-large-library maybe??" I laughed. "Nay, nay, my poor, poor Diablo. Those feeble words and proud verbs weren't taken outta some dusty, ol Lovejoy letter high on a shelf behind the grey cobwebs where you reside; they're mine, I assure thee." "Gimme another piece-O-bullshit." "Truly, truly, I sayeth unto thee, evil dude, I'm a writer of chastity, the Gospel, and the wonderfully, bitchin Upstairs life. Wanna brochure?" "Pshaw..." he made the crazy sign at the sideOhis head. "Back on the trax on the Panzer. Don't you see now what Hitler refused?" he rolled his eyeballs and then put'm back in. "Hello? HELLO?? tardOmatic. Come in!! I'll never see," withe utmost precision. "Touché, mon Diablo. Precisely why flies stick to paper." In the dark, how could he? "What an ass," under my breath. "Though some people expect too little from the Good Things of this world, always seeking after vanity." "VANITY??" his ears immediately perked up. "What's vanity? But a four-letter-word starting with some V?? Hell, I'm cuter than a flagrant purpose while they suck on my heat-seeker, baby." "True, true, while the jeneration-X is quite extraordinary, the extensive realization comes when they realize VINCENT QUE SE VINCENT, (Latin: 'conquering thyself is better than conquering others') ending in pyrrhic, but Heavenly victory... and…” "Nyah," shaking his unstable, incoherent noggin. "See, I have - " "Wow. A collaberation with gravity??" "Almost. I have - " "Bolshevik bad guys??" "Not quite. I have - " "A renaissance?" "I have - " "Wow! One, whole shekel??" "SHUT!! THE!! HELL!! UP!!!" I sorta LOL. "No way, dude! I want one!!" "Awholelottapowerdownhere," fast-as-a-wagon-with-a-missin-wheel. "Ha. You're nothin but a ring-around-the-RosyODonnel. Not even that. Flowers are beautiful, they worship Jesus, and always the stamens, or MALE STAMINA, to survive on their journey." "And wealth in souls. And pride, too. Can't furget pride. Nope. Up there, I'll be number two if that. Nyah. Don't wanna. Wanna keep'm. They're mine. The End." Flowers can't grow in the dark. "Good Lord above, you're that conceited and selfish, you'd make many billions be fried rather than YOU see the Light??" he blew my mind. "Touché." "That's a nasty, black lie. Got them special night-goggles, don'cha?" "Precisely. And where is the light? Don't got no light, brudda. shoot2score!! And that's the way... UH-HUH, UH-HUH I like it." He did some meen, disco moves like the Bee-Gee's. I laughed, "You're wildly imbued," yelling downstairs with a backhand. "And you're MissConstrued," back up. he couldn't take me or sweeten the kitty, capturing me not; I had something far, far down the chessboard. I feigned shock, "Why, you... you... tufted-tit-mouse you. You're just a futile, Big-Wheel," as I remained staunch like Ponch from Chips.
"You say you feel extremely proud to have the faith you do when most of U.S. can't even go to the bathroom without loving their genitalia?" "Geez, evil dude, I do that, too." he stared wholeheartedly at this sinner with renewed wonder, a HAT that's RED, im his mantra of confusion; dadgum, Paw, he stared amazed that I'd have something flourishing within despite my grasp of a useless head injury. he stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes, mouth open and, yet, nowhere to go like a rebellious, repulsive liar caught in the act, like I myself would do faced with my Scapular on the Devil. "Amen," quietly. "I know, I know. Hard to mortify and difficult to believe, but, yet, here I am. Screwing you over. I shall demand an audience every time I'm here so you can never escape me for eternity. Golly, Wally, aren't you beginning to feel purged already?" "HOW I WISH YOU HAD PERISHED IN HER AUTO!!!!!" he skreeemed. "Shhh!! There, there. She was only the catalyst to get our indelible souls to Heaven, for our bodies are only vehicles to reach eternity, up or down," as I shouted right back. "We won't ALL die before our time," kinda, sorta ambiguously. For I was much larger than his rudeness, bigger than his death. "Ain't nice to scream at the King's son, but I forgive you outta compassion." he realized his error then in speaking with his Keith Blowberman, half-ego, and his open-fire-voice rose still further till it was quite painfull, not only to my ears, but the force of his yell made my face go in sorta like Chuck Yeager when he went at Mach speeds; also, his voice had this nauseating, veneer quality to it, like a decayed, soggy, kadavr-in-a-river when you're through sleeping-withe-fishies and you float to the top leisurely. Like eating an unappetizing, suicidal thistle.
"HOW I WISH - " "Shöt-up, ya filthy schweinhund!!" like a Gestapo schlemiel. "NOOOOOOOOOO..." gnashing his crappy, slime-covered, pointy-teeth before I could cut him off at the pass. "Evil dude, if wishes were like the misses and gravity in a jar, we'd all be washing dishes in the car, wouldn't we? Go back to yer egregious, stinkin' Abyss. That's what you're good at, ya cynical, smart-ass; that's all I'm gonna say, ya zany, zooillological zookeeper from Zimbabwe." As I turned to leave (God's haircutter's are awesome, BTW: I overstayed my welcome anyway and Janet probably wondered where I was), I stopped Oh, yeah!! I had one more solution and he had one more diabolical diagnosis. We spoke at the same time: "And wormwood?""Got smtin fer ya." What was that leftover stank which was synonymouse withe nostril-filling-stench of thousands of bloated mice? Like a bag of slimy, yummy, brussel-sprouts in the fridge, passionately pushed to the far-east and forgotten for five weeks. My mum was the VERY BEST at keeping phood longer than her life expentancy: Hullo, Harry Mold! Nice knowing ya! Little bitOgreen plankton water on the bottom, deliciousNnutritious things swimming on the lower end of the primordial scale, poi-fect for the Dawn of Creation. Ya never, ever knew what lurks-like-a-growth patiently waiting inside our old fridge... then, my worst fears came to fruition. he swiftly hauled a massive crucifix up the dark stairs with a person nailed; her scalp open and her body had LOOOOONG T-500000 staples all over. She was nude, of course, but you couldn't tell where the torso began because she was literally covered in adversity. Blood everywhere. Covering her. Covering him. Everywhere. A foul, fetid odor was coming from both: her body had a distinct extinct, 'nuthin-dies' in the Abyss. "Geee, uh, that's nice," turned my face, as I almost ralphed, as I held my nose. My plan was turning into reality before my very eyes. "Yeah? She likes the abuse, dontya, ya whore." "Liah." "She ain't quite so pretty now, huh?" "Liah." "O, yes, you should see the mighty-mighty jok men. They can take a lot more in their toughousity. But, alas, ya know what?" "What?" condescendingly. "I always win on those who only look parallel." he was dead-set. "She had many abortions. Thot repentance was fuzzy and worthless... and how'd she put it? A wasteOtime in this age of alpha-female-science? Lemme have summoreOthat feedback form, Barbi and Ken. May get the employment application, but you more-than-likely won't be hired: the baby girl's limp head, miss BrainDead, as they sucked all her Womb-Temperature out. They call it 'patial-birth-abortion'? I call it 'my solution'. God couldn't stop her, so I did." I wept severely, cried bitterly for what seemed like ages, my hands covering my sea-soaked, drenched eyes, totally appalled by his total enmity, her bloody horror of the ages: man's throbbing joystix so filled withe conquest of mortal sin, now placed in her sacred womb-of-womanhood. he was joyfull... for a time. "O, boo-hoo. Her babies didn't get a chance, either." "Maybe she does," I whispered. "DAMN RIGHT SHE DOES!!! I take alla the rejects who can't come downstairs without first zipping-up their pants, MissMatchMagazine. You have morals, sucker. I don't." he looked straight-up at me, almost coming out-of-his-pulpit. "I like that word 'NOW', besides the acronym: no yesterdays, no tomorrows, only 'NOW'. Only the length of eternity awaits those who come to me lair." I felt sick, as I puked-off Upstairs for the first time, falling down, down, down to land at his webbed feet in large chunks. Weird-O-animals that looked like humans immediately gobbled it up. Why? Guess they haven't been fed in who knows how long?? That's gonna change. When I speak and throw-up, they better appreciate it, dammit. "Ain't she beautifull? Ain't she looovely now?" he laughed, a long, caustic, quiet laugh. "No, my Divine Enemy didn't do this. She did it to herself. We all have free will. Hers was death." "God bless you, girl. I love you." I could see, through alla the dirt and grody, critical mass, she was quite gorgeous - probably had perfect speech, too; probably what got her her death wish with Charles. "She refused to lissen to wisdom sitting at her gate; always wanted to talk, always running her mouth like the rude, fanatic ceiling-fan going roundNround, going nowhere, with her lame, sordid, earthly-passions of your dayNage. Multi-layered-insecurity, ya think? Lookit where she is now... Death comes withe velocity of Babylon... Oh! Blimey bloke!! She tryn' to saaay sumtin. Let's give a lissen, shall we?" he put his cranium near her purreed-scalp. Barley breathing on a whisper of a dove, "Help, friend," "What was that? Couldn't hear," as he rolled his eyes skyward. "Stupid bitch sed, 'Go to Hell'. That ain't nice. That's what EYE say!!!!!" as he proceeded to pound her again and again and again and AGAIN --- I looked at the bedraggled, unsavory being who literally fell in his unoccupied infidelity and laughed - breaking away like a wild stallion in his lust for the world: there was nuthin, not a thing, but a deep, dark, black hole covering him, as if Black Beauty was never born in his contempuous novel. And he moved withe swiftness of lightning, the reprocussions of thunder!! No emotions. No feelings besides the vaaast profusion of hatred, the ricocheted antipathy for humanity stuck in the fishing-lures of a plastic fedelity, to take you down under to snooze-withe-bass wherever and whenever you stand fast and committed to riches; where there's a very biting, a very harsh reform school that never lets out and HE'S the cruel principal with cruel principles with cloven hooves walking the murkey halls of the deceptive, cultural academy where time is non-existent. he wants to catch the fish going to Hell outta stupidity... and I ain't gonna let him sucka YOU, brudda. The Treason people follow after 'whorizontal American Idols' isn't because they don't necessarily have the extraneous faith needed, they're led blindly along filled withe 'slo-mo-metaphor, car-pitch': unable to think for themselves in this NOW mega-mall-culture, the teeming, common compilation in this crippling, parody-like-parade without OUR King of King's to teach'm to walkNtalk again. For alla the haphazard determination and Archie Bunker, schizophrenic MissTakes we've all made in our Finite Existence, we could turn the tide, America. And that only comes from the Most High. Incredible problem? Nope. Nada. Nyet. Just pass the ball, Don Knotts, to Jesus. Look, take your belief in the Cross of Christ very seriously, or don't expect too much Heaven or Heaven for that matter. When you're dead? You'll seriously wished you had, but then it'll be too late; now, you're faced with Jesus' Justice. I'm nothing without You, my Original Shrink --- he brushed the gorgeously irresolute, cumbersome mass of the wooden Cross aside, as if he were shooing a fly away: tumbled down, down, down the weary, stone steps to land with a splash far, far below. "Recess is over, whore." ...I sighed. "Now that your unhindered stigmata is outta the closet, more-on, let's say you're correct about such things - " "Things?? Such as... ?" "People, asswiper!! Then, what do I, the king of my world, get as a literal downfall?" I frowned, "Well *koff* let us see... there's always Friday night and-" "What happens?? What happens??" drooling like a YouthInAsia. "And," as if I was reading to him outta the newspaper about Columbine. "Get plastered! Get laid by some Know-Name-jok! The next day??" "What happens?? What happens??" "If you don't find your period arrives in a month, why, get a 'poisonous-kill'm-dead' machine!!! Don't let anything out! Let everyone in, cockamamie!" "FAB-YOO-LOUS idea!" Egad! I could see right down his throat, as he gasped and spluttered. "No moolah for this evil RITE under the abombination of Roe vs. Wade? No problem! Do some crimes - " he was wide-eyed as the timekeeper (as timeless as the krill urinal). "Kill! Kill! Kill! sez the Drill Instructor: both yourself and your fellow countrymen!!" "Klutz On Fire!" Touché. "No, I don't hate anybody or anything, but YOU," gave him the sign of the Cross which he shrunk-away from. "I dislike you about as much as I dislike flug from the dryer: you're totally worthless, traveling into a jerk-water-town and giving me the bends, ya lil' green man. I throw you in the trash where you belong, chump. You pro'bly swap spit with yer mofo." "DO NOT!!!!!" "Ya lady-killer you." he didn't know WTF to make of me. Funny, earthlings didn't know, either. I pointed to my watch. "Lick my tongue and I'll tell you. Yumm, huh? I'm 'avant-garde-morality' PRE-cisely because nobody else will. They're too scared of earth creatures. Ouch. Grow-up. Botha youse. Good boy, Satan. Good boy." "Useless fucker." "Speech, too, plays a highly critical role in the catastrophic conformity of humanity: bullies, put-downs, verbal abuse, alla the insecure people who have a tangible vacuum inside. You see guys spit on the sidewalk and then walk away? Yeah, moron. I'd LOVE for you to spit in HIS Kingdom." "Fucker squared." "Thaaat's nice. They also never learned how to BE mature. First step? Shut yer bloody mouth and lissen. They think they're sooo damn tough. Do you? Do you really? Whoa. Mind if I shoot your ass? Let's see how tough you are when you die," turning toward the height of a young-woman-closet and winked. "Hey, vacuum, ready to dance in an eternity of anguish?" as I was ready to dive over the edge. he couldn't believe it!! "Yeah, baby! Got a bed??" making a few, meeen moves like the Solid Gold dancers. "Good! Don't dance with me, dumbass," stone faced. his voice dropped like a rock. "Go to Hell." "Yeah? You're cool. Pick a winner." And withat sed, God snapped His radically, gracious fingers which threw the Liar back with a thud. he sensed something, like there was some sorta miscalculation in his soul count. ...as Satan bellowed, I laughed with glee. "Don't you know, Cornholio? Love conquers all?" kissing Janet in her pink, hot mo', as we THREE walked toward the escalator. "Don't look back. Nuthins there. Everythings forward. Everything's Upstairs!" As for him? he slithered back toward nthn.
"You say you feel extremely proud to have the faith you do when most of U.S. can't even go to the bathroom without loving their genitalia?" "Geez, evil dude, I do that, too." he stared wholeheartedly at this sinner with renewed wonder, a HAT that's RED, im his mantra of confusion; dadgum, Paw, he stared amazed that I'd have something flourishing within despite my grasp of a useless head injury. he stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes, mouth open and, yet, nowhere to go like a rebellious, repulsive liar caught in the act, like I myself would do faced with my Scapular on the Devil. "Amen," quietly. "I know, I know. Hard to mortify and difficult to believe, but, yet, here I am. Screwing you over. I shall demand an audience every time I'm here so you can never escape me for eternity. Golly, Wally, aren't you beginning to feel purged already?" "HOW I WISH YOU HAD PERISHED IN HER AUTO!!!!!" he skreeemed. "Shhh!! There, there. She was only the catalyst to get our indelible souls to Heaven, for our bodies are only vehicles to reach eternity, up or down," as I shouted right back. "We won't ALL die before our time," kinda, sorta ambiguously. For I was much larger than his rudeness, bigger than his death. "Ain't nice to scream at the King's son, but I forgive you outta compassion." he realized his error then in speaking with his Keith Blowberman, half-ego, and his open-fire-voice rose still further till it was quite painfull, not only to my ears, but the force of his yell made my face go in sorta like Chuck Yeager when he went at Mach speeds; also, his voice had this nauseating, veneer quality to it, like a decayed, soggy, kadavr-in-a-river when you're through sleeping-withe-fishies and you float to the top leisurely. Like eating an unappetizing, suicidal thistle.
"HOW I WISH - " "Shöt-up, ya filthy schweinhund!!" like a Gestapo schlemiel. "NOOOOOOOOOO..." gnashing his crappy, slime-covered, pointy-teeth before I could cut him off at the pass. "Evil dude, if wishes were like the misses and gravity in a jar, we'd all be washing dishes in the car, wouldn't we? Go back to yer egregious, stinkin' Abyss. That's what you're good at, ya cynical, smart-ass; that's all I'm gonna say, ya zany, zooillological zookeeper from Zimbabwe." As I turned to leave (God's haircutter's are awesome, BTW: I overstayed my welcome anyway and Janet probably wondered where I was), I stopped Oh, yeah!! I had one more solution and he had one more diabolical diagnosis. We spoke at the same time: "And wormwood?""Got smtin fer ya." What was that leftover stank which was synonymouse withe nostril-filling-stench of thousands of bloated mice? Like a bag of slimy, yummy, brussel-sprouts in the fridge, passionately pushed to the far-east and forgotten for five weeks. My mum was the VERY BEST at keeping phood longer than her life expentancy: Hullo, Harry Mold! Nice knowing ya! Little bitOgreen plankton water on the bottom, deliciousNnutritious things swimming on the lower end of the primordial scale, poi-fect for the Dawn of Creation. Ya never, ever knew what lurks-like-a-growth patiently waiting inside our old fridge... then, my worst fears came to fruition. he swiftly hauled a massive crucifix up the dark stairs with a person nailed; her scalp open and her body had LOOOOONG T-500000 staples all over. She was nude, of course, but you couldn't tell where the torso began because she was literally covered in adversity. Blood everywhere. Covering her. Covering him. Everywhere. A foul, fetid odor was coming from both: her body had a distinct extinct, 'nuthin-dies' in the Abyss. "Geee, uh, that's nice," turned my face, as I almost ralphed, as I held my nose. My plan was turning into reality before my very eyes. "Yeah? She likes the abuse, dontya, ya whore." "Liah." "She ain't quite so pretty now, huh?" "Liah." "O, yes, you should see the mighty-mighty jok men. They can take a lot more in their toughousity. But, alas, ya know what?" "What?" condescendingly. "I always win on those who only look parallel." he was dead-set. "She had many abortions. Thot repentance was fuzzy and worthless... and how'd she put it? A wasteOtime in this age of alpha-female-science? Lemme have summoreOthat feedback form, Barbi and Ken. May get the employment application, but you more-than-likely won't be hired: the baby girl's limp head, miss BrainDead, as they sucked all her Womb-Temperature out. They call it 'patial-birth-abortion'? I call it 'my solution'. God couldn't stop her, so I did." I wept severely, cried bitterly for what seemed like ages, my hands covering my sea-soaked, drenched eyes, totally appalled by his total enmity, her bloody horror of the ages: man's throbbing joystix so filled withe conquest of mortal sin, now placed in her sacred womb-of-womanhood. he was joyfull... for a time. "O, boo-hoo. Her babies didn't get a chance, either." "Maybe she does," I whispered. "DAMN RIGHT SHE DOES!!! I take alla the rejects who can't come downstairs without first zipping-up their pants, MissMatchMagazine. You have morals, sucker. I don't." he looked straight-up at me, almost coming out-of-his-pulpit. "I like that word 'NOW', besides the acronym: no yesterdays, no tomorrows, only 'NOW'. Only the length of eternity awaits those who come to me lair." I felt sick, as I puked-off Upstairs for the first time, falling down, down, down to land at his webbed feet in large chunks. Weird-O-animals that looked like humans immediately gobbled it up. Why? Guess they haven't been fed in who knows how long?? That's gonna change. When I speak and throw-up, they better appreciate it, dammit. "Ain't she beautifull? Ain't she looovely now?" he laughed, a long, caustic, quiet laugh. "No, my Divine Enemy didn't do this. She did it to herself. We all have free will. Hers was death." "God bless you, girl. I love you." I could see, through alla the dirt and grody, critical mass, she was quite gorgeous - probably had perfect speech, too; probably what got her her death wish with Charles. "She refused to lissen to wisdom sitting at her gate; always wanted to talk, always running her mouth like the rude, fanatic ceiling-fan going roundNround, going nowhere, with her lame, sordid, earthly-passions of your dayNage. Multi-layered-insecurity, ya think? Lookit where she is now... Death comes withe velocity of Babylon... Oh! Blimey bloke!! She tryn' to saaay sumtin. Let's give a lissen, shall we?" he put his cranium near her purreed-scalp. Barley breathing on a whisper of a dove, "Help, friend," "What was that? Couldn't hear," as he rolled his eyes skyward. "Stupid bitch sed, 'Go to Hell'. That ain't nice. That's what EYE say!!!!!" as he proceeded to pound her again and again and again and AGAIN --- I looked at the bedraggled, unsavory being who literally fell in his unoccupied infidelity and laughed - breaking away like a wild stallion in his lust for the world: there was nuthin, not a thing, but a deep, dark, black hole covering him, as if Black Beauty was never born in his contempuous novel. And he moved withe swiftness of lightning, the reprocussions of thunder!! No emotions. No feelings besides the vaaast profusion of hatred, the ricocheted antipathy for humanity stuck in the fishing-lures of a plastic fedelity, to take you down under to snooze-withe-bass wherever and whenever you stand fast and committed to riches; where there's a very biting, a very harsh reform school that never lets out and HE'S the cruel principal with cruel principles with cloven hooves walking the murkey halls of the deceptive, cultural academy where time is non-existent. he wants to catch the fish going to Hell outta stupidity... and I ain't gonna let him sucka YOU, brudda. The Treason people follow after 'whorizontal American Idols' isn't because they don't necessarily have the extraneous faith needed, they're led blindly along filled withe 'slo-mo-metaphor, car-pitch': unable to think for themselves in this NOW mega-mall-culture, the teeming, common compilation in this crippling, parody-like-parade without OUR King of King's to teach'm to walkNtalk again. For alla the haphazard determination and Archie Bunker, schizophrenic MissTakes we've all made in our Finite Existence, we could turn the tide, America. And that only comes from the Most High. Incredible problem? Nope. Nada. Nyet. Just pass the ball, Don Knotts, to Jesus. Look, take your belief in the Cross of Christ very seriously, or don't expect too much Heaven or Heaven for that matter. When you're dead? You'll seriously wished you had, but then it'll be too late; now, you're faced with Jesus' Justice. I'm nothing without You, my Original Shrink --- he brushed the gorgeously irresolute, cumbersome mass of the wooden Cross aside, as if he were shooing a fly away: tumbled down, down, down the weary, stone steps to land with a splash far, far below. "Recess is over, whore." ...I sighed. "Now that your unhindered stigmata is outta the closet, more-on, let's say you're correct about such things - " "Things?? Such as... ?" "People, asswiper!! Then, what do I, the king of my world, get as a literal downfall?" I frowned, "Well *koff* let us see... there's always Friday night and-" "What happens?? What happens??" drooling like a YouthInAsia. "And," as if I was reading to him outta the newspaper about Columbine. "Get plastered! Get laid by some Know-Name-jok! The next day??" "What happens?? What happens??" "If you don't find your period arrives in a month, why, get a 'poisonous-kill'm-dead' machine!!! Don't let anything out! Let everyone in, cockamamie!" "FAB-YOO-LOUS idea!" Egad! I could see right down his throat, as he gasped and spluttered. "No moolah for this evil RITE under the abombination of Roe vs. Wade? No problem! Do some crimes - " he was wide-eyed as the timekeeper (as timeless as the krill urinal). "Kill! Kill! Kill! sez the Drill Instructor: both yourself and your fellow countrymen!!" "Klutz On Fire!" Touché. "No, I don't hate anybody or anything, but YOU," gave him the sign of the Cross which he shrunk-away from. "I dislike you about as much as I dislike flug from the dryer: you're totally worthless, traveling into a jerk-water-town and giving me the bends, ya lil' green man. I throw you in the trash where you belong, chump. You pro'bly swap spit with yer mofo." "DO NOT!!!!!" "Ya lady-killer you." he didn't know WTF to make of me. Funny, earthlings didn't know, either. I pointed to my watch. "Lick my tongue and I'll tell you. Yumm, huh? I'm 'avant-garde-morality' PRE-cisely because nobody else will. They're too scared of earth creatures. Ouch. Grow-up. Botha youse. Good boy, Satan. Good boy." "Useless fucker." "Speech, too, plays a highly critical role in the catastrophic conformity of humanity: bullies, put-downs, verbal abuse, alla the insecure people who have a tangible vacuum inside. You see guys spit on the sidewalk and then walk away? Yeah, moron. I'd LOVE for you to spit in HIS Kingdom." "Fucker squared." "Thaaat's nice. They also never learned how to BE mature. First step? Shut yer bloody mouth and lissen. They think they're sooo damn tough. Do you? Do you really? Whoa. Mind if I shoot your ass? Let's see how tough you are when you die," turning toward the height of a young-woman-closet and winked. "Hey, vacuum, ready to dance in an eternity of anguish?" as I was ready to dive over the edge. he couldn't believe it!! "Yeah, baby! Got a bed??" making a few, meeen moves like the Solid Gold dancers. "Good! Don't dance with me, dumbass," stone faced. his voice dropped like a rock. "Go to Hell." "Yeah? You're cool. Pick a winner." And withat sed, God snapped His radically, gracious fingers which threw the Liar back with a thud. he sensed something, like there was some sorta miscalculation in his soul count. ...as Satan bellowed, I laughed with glee. "Don't you know, Cornholio? Love conquers all?" kissing Janet in her pink, hot mo', as we THREE walked toward the escalator. "Don't look back. Nuthins there. Everythings forward. Everything's Upstairs!" As for him? he slithered back toward nthn.
